


Stupid waste of timd

by Asameki



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Projecting, Roman centric, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 22:40:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20035141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asameki/pseuds/Asameki
Summary: I call this "i push my problems onto roman"





	Stupid waste of timd

**Author's Note:**

> so im tired and extremely frustrated with my lack of ability to have any talent or gain any attention in anything I do, so im pushing all of my bad feelings onto roman instead of dealing with them.

Roman Sanders liked to believe he was multi talented.

He believed he could sing, that he could draw, that he could act, and that he could entertain.

Well, he used too.

It all started when he decided to make a new Instagram. He had decided to make it, to post his art up.

As he expected, some of his friends followed me. He consistently posted up art, waiting for his popularity, or at least his followers count to grow.

It didn't.

He didn't think much about it at first, after all, he was just a new account! He'd get into the swing of things!

When he got the notification that someone had followed him, he had been so excited! He clicked the notification, and looked at the followers account.

It was a spam bot.

_"Oh well"_ He tried conveniencing himself. "_Thats only one! Things'll go up!"_

After a year, and 50 bot followers later, they didn't.

Roman tried to ignore his frustrations, and the jealously and anger he felt when he saw art that was better then his, which was common, or when he saw different Instagram accounts grow and get attention.

So he stopped putting so much attention on Instagram.

Eventually, however, he started using tik tok. He found that cosplay was fun, and wanted to try his hand at it.

So he did. He looked at the clothes he had, and all his favorite characters, and did what he could. He did his most over dramatic acting to some songs he enjoyed. He even did some small covers of songs he liked. And it was fun.

For a while.

He had gained a bit of followers, around 50, when he found himself stuck.

He wasn't growing. He was shrinking. His heart count hit 1k and didn't grow.

It didn't help that every time a "small creator" was mentioned, they were 29 k, or 10k, or more. And about how no one wants to hear from a loser with 50 followers . After all, the only people with less then 1k are children and pathetic people, he reasoned.

Roman didn't even hestitate stopping this time. After all, who would miss his content?

No one cared about his art

No one cared about his acting

No one cared about his cosplay

No one cared about his singing

_"And why should they?"_ He started to think, and eventually believe._"It's not good, it's not unique, interesting, complex, it's weak terrible art work that looks like it was inked by a 7 year old. It's acting that's much too much, matched terribly with his terrible camera quality. It's shitty "costumes", if you could even call them that, being worn matched with the terrible camera along with his terrible acting, and the bad locations he had to flim in._

He knew fully, that his content wasn't good. There was a reason no one followed him.

It hurt more then he cared to admit, but it's not as if his friends knew.

Because all in all, at the end of the day, it was his thoughts telling him how terrible and bad he was. And at this point he felt there was nothing he could do but sit and watch.

**Author's Note:**

> this stemmed from both my dislike of myself and my frustrations and aldo my thought that Roman wouldnt instantly become famous, if at all
> 
> Anyway please do check out my tik tok for cosplays, I'm honestly so starved for validation one like would probably break me.  
Tik tok- asameki  
Tumblr- plinamiismyotp


End file.
